i'm no feminist, but i finally had a double-standard dawn on me and i don't like it.
in books, when men are unfaithful in marriage, it's because they love their wives in a different way than their mistresses. they are still allowed to have loved them, and basically, to have loved them well, while cheating.
however, when women cheat in books, it is because they are pure evil and never loved their husbands and plotted their ruin from the courtship.
not cool. male characters compartmentalize their lives and wives, and can excel in relationship to wife and mistress simultaneously. female characters on the other hand are judged as a whole. they are perceived to only have one, uncomplicated motive for every action, which is false, but they are held accountable to all areas of life at once (husband, lover, children, dreams), which is how it should be for everyone. men can love in different ways: "but wife, i love you in a boring, living with you, loving-the-children-we-made kind of way. i love my mistress in a passionate, idealized, i-don't-live-with-you kind of way. see! it's perfectly fine." women are only permitted to love in one way, and only love one person (which may not be realistic. it seems to me that i can "love" more than one person, but loving well means only loving one person).
why are only women held to the standard of true love= nothing less than total physical and emotional faithfulness?
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