i've done it now. i've started reading about freddy's sleep and now i am freaking. i mean crying in the shower, who are you God, freaking. clearly i am overreacting.
dr. weissbluth says periods of wakefulness should last 2 hours MAXIMUM. freddy was awake for 2 hours 15 mins this morning. oh dear lord his biological rhythms! how can he learn and develop without healthy naps! he'll become overtired and never sleep again!
just now he was approaching 2 hours again and so i put him in his swing in the bedroom and glanced at the clock to let him cry for 5 mins. he really seemed tired. little baby puffy eyes. he SCREAMED his hardest and most anguished and i stood in the kitchen outside the bedroom and ate a peach so juicy it ran down my arm and formed a puddle on the counter. he cried from 609 to 612 and now is out cold.
TORTURE. i could barely handle 3 mins.
also dr. weissbluth says i have to be home for naps and he has to sleep in his crib. no more "on demand" sleeping wherever we are. also jared is never going to see freddy again (false) b/c dr. weissbluth says freddy needs an earlier bedtime.
ok. enough panicking. i am probably going to stay flexible about naps until 4 months, when we will probably be somewhere else anyway and i can stay home all day for naps because i won't have any friends :) and i'm excited to create a bedtime routine together w/ jared. that will be fun. and its very interesting that freddy has seemed more tired and overtired just this week, and even especially today, when i am reading and practicing healthy sleep habits, happy child.
but can i just complain about the hyperbole and lack of studies cited in some of these books?
"many adults are chronically poor sleepers because of patterns that often began during their own childhood and continued on. sleeping poorly is a learned behavior, and when a child doesn't get quality sleep, he may not learn how to sleep well. in many cases, such sleep issues are likely to become part of his life for many years."
-this is under the subheading "putting sleep in perspective" which starts out trying to reassure parents not to "beat [themselves] up" and urging them to "set aside any anxiety and blame [they] might feel if [they] aren't doing everything perfectly." and this book is by the american academy of pediatrics!
what is so terrifying is that i'm missing something
essential in my care of
freddy. clearly he is a thriving boy, but i can't stand to open myself to others' opinions and read these
books because i can't filter out the guilt trip and i'm not experienced
enough to judge what will work best for freddy when i am deluged with
information. i need to not freak out about whether i am a bad parent for not reading
this sooner, not wanting to do this, not knowing if i'm even going to
do it, etc. and devote myself to figuring out what is best for
frederick. love that guy.
he just woke up :)
3 comments:
Oh Jesse, that book TOTALLY FREAKED ME OUT. And I was reading it when Gus was a year old, so I was practically flogging myself for all of the brain damage I'd already inflicted! And THEN I made the mistake of reading a couple other sleep books (one was a Sears book) and they all make it sound like if you do what the other book says you are emotionally/developmentally/whatever stunting your kid for life. I know exactly what you mean about the hyperbole. UGH. For what it's worth, this article was somewhat reassuring to me: http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/the-myth-of-sleeping-through-the-night/ It made sense to me and made me think that just maybe my kid will be okay after all. Oh girl...wait until you get to the discipline books. You're going to need a stiff drink.
The sleep book I finally found that I loved so much I threw all the others out (and that I could read with tea in hand rather than vodka) was "The 90-minute sleep solution" by Polly Moore.
i have taken a chill pill. i have simply become aware that freddy's sleep is a need i am responsible to provide for. phew!
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