weaned : (

i weaned my boy.

i never ever thought i would nurse past one year.  in fact i thought that was a little creepy (sorry, i obv didn't know what i was talking about).  but his birthday came and went and i was like, oh, this doesn't stop automatically?  and i didn't want to take responsibility for it myself.

then when i first got pregnant, i felt so done w/ nursing.  SO DONE.  but we were going to fly to Pennsylvania so i definitely wanted to be able to nurse on the flight, so i kept on.

so we got home from our trip.  jared thought i wouldn't do it.  i said back off this is my business if you push me i'll be more likely to get depressed.

but freddy was clearly ready, as evidenced by the fact that he dropped his bedtime feeding on his own and then his 2 midday feedings in 24 hrs.  i, on the other hand, was no longer ready.  i couldn't cut that remaining wake up feeding.  i spent a lot of time laying on the floor crying about it.  but after two weeks of trying to sack up, the time came.

it was my ten year high school reunion so freddy was going to spend the night at mary kay's house, so i wouldn't have to be there to not nurse him.  sleeping in was a welcome exchange (plus keep in mind i'll be nursing baby 2 in less than six months if all goes according to plan).

so the morning of the reunion i nursed him for the last time.  THEN jared cut off all freddy's beautiful hair.  military crew cut style.  transformed my baby into a white trash five year old (white trash b/c i never dress him).

jared has only seen me cry like 2x, so i made sure to follow him around the house while i was bawling for 20 minutes about this haircut.

did i feel sad when i was sleeping in instead of nursing?  nope.
did i feel sad in sexy pushup bras for the first time in 14+ months?  nope.

when my thoughtful friends asked me how i was doing less than a week after weaning, did i even know what they were talking about?  pretty much not.

the clock is ticking to enjoy these pushup bras!!!