my thursday (includes repeated TMI)

i woke up thursday morning to see that the hickey* JB accidentally gave me on my face the night before had not abated.

freddy was getting over a cold, fritzy had a cold, and i was coming down with a cold (jared had a cold, blew his nose one time, and was well). i was scrambling all morning to get my act together to grocery shop for JB since he was leaving for his annual guys' camping trip at "Butt Lake" the next day (AND had volunteered to give a meal to someone in need that night... great jared, thanks for being a good person).

right when i get home and am unloading groceries the apartment manager rushes up "perfect timing the cable guy is here he was about to leave, i thought you were going to be home i left you like 3 voicemails" -- well yeah, you told me the cable guy would maybe but not likely make an appearance that afternoon and it was like 1158a.

so he tries to fix whatever is wrong with the only cable jack in our downstairs. after a two-week runaround from comcast we currently have a death trap cable running from the boys' room all the way down the steps through the hallway to the TV so JB could watch the pirates in the playoffs. :( sorry JB.

he can't fix it. he doesn't knows what's wrong. he stays past naptime about which i am a NAZI. both boys start to fuss and freddy really wants to read this special book from his grammy + grumps that has a recording of their voices reading the christmas story and expressing their desire that freddy + fritz love and obey the lord Jesus Christ.

i really don't want him to play it because i am ashamed of the gospel.

but my desire to shut his fussing up prevails so i let him play it.

when it talks about "the savior was born" freddy starts saying "xavier" over and over and over. I THANK THEE LORD that the apartment manager had left by this time because xavier is his son and freddy's friend, and freddy has him majorly confused with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. so that's kind of a problem.

i can't just let it be and try to explain it all to the cable guy. he's all "suuuure..."

eventually he is convinced that yes, you are right, the jack does not work. so he leaves. and the hazardous cable stays.

then i remember i never covered up the hickey.

i rush the boys to naptime and then prep for my women's Bible study that night.  i'm loving the time like crazy but the book is very challenging -- it's a short, repetitive devotional that does NOT translate well to group discussion (elyse fitzpatrick's Comforts from Romans. i like her Comforts from the Cross better.)

so i'm all prepared and off i go!! everyone is already there(!) so we actually start on time which is v. unusual.  i ask a few of my questions and no one really bites... i look down at my little paper and IT IS LIKE A NIGHTMARE. i realize the bullet points i typed up are not really questions. just vague unfinished thoughts. AND I ONLY HAVE ONE MORE VAGUE UNFINISHED THOUGHT LEFT AND WE'VE ONLY BEEN GOING FOR LIKE TWENTY MINS.

so i just closed it and said "omg i'll do better next time, let's just share" which luckily we all LOVE to do and seems very satisfying for everyone there. except the one person who came in AFTER i had already crashed and burned and must secretly wonder what happened to the discussion (well, don't be an hour late and you won't miss the appallingly boring, ghastly uncomfortable and pathetically short discussion!).

reader, i was in shock!! while we shared, i boiled with embarrassment. i have spent my whole life doing the bare minimum and rarely** has my judgment failed me so completely on what exactly the bare minimum is...

("what would you think of someone who only did the BARE MINIMUM??" 

i am being 100% honest when i say that i hear this in my head multiple times a day 

as i go about my life's work)

then on my way home i remembered that i still hadn't covered up the hickey.


__________________________

*jared gave me one other hickey, also accidentally, when we were newlyweds. the next day we had my parents over for dinner. i put makeup on and wore a turtleneck. my mom, THE mary kay martin, didn't say anything about it so i KNEW she didn't notice. after the meal she texted me, "thanks for the delicious dinner, the hickey didn't detract from the atmosphere at all"
!!!!!!!!!!!!
i mean we even ate by candlelight!!!

**7th grade choir, at Christmas, anyone could go up and sing a carol for everyone. I got up and blithely chirped, "alfie the elf was santa's helper--***" and realized i did not know, and never had known, the next line, or in fact another single word of the song.

i just stood there while my face peed itself with mortification.

andrew sanders who i had a major crush on was sitting in the front row and took pity and fed me a few lines until i could end it all and sit down (do you remember this, rachel pratt nee johnson??)

***great song choice, jesse