this magical summer

i'm starting to be able to do things during the day while i care for freddy lee.  with that ability comes angst when i can't get things done.  it's like, spread all the laundry out and fold one piece, then he wakes up.  play with him, set him up in his gym (darling), fold another piece, then he's hungry (exaggeration.  i can fold at least five pieces before he gets hungry).  then at bedtime there is clean, wrinkled laundry all over the bed. 

so i remind myself every day that this is my magical summer.  one easy baby, family and friends all around, jared's hours so delightful...  no expectations, no schedule or to do list required, just getting to know and accepting freddy.  this is a once in a lifetime summer.

and i dug up a blog post i had bookmarked (way before i was pregnant) asking for advice on how to have a good routine as a stay at home mom.  from the comments:

"Relax! That is the best advice I have ever gotten. Looking back on when my children were your girl’s ages, I wish I would have stressed less (if none at all) about parenting and just enjoyed life. So throw out all the expectations and just be. Really. It is so worth it!
As for the practical cleaning and such. Just make it fun. We have the fondest memories of the children and I washing clothes, hanging clothes, cooking together (which can mean the children helping or playing near by), cleaning the bathroom together, mending clothes together (they w/their little play sewing kits & threading cards), baking together, reading together, playing dolls together, painting together, building w/blocks, talking, listening…..lots and lots of listening. Just being. That is what refreshes a soul more than anything. The knowing that one is loved and accepted simply because one is. That just being is enough. :)
(so yea, kick that perfectionist to the curb and just be :)"


that is advice that is easy to say to others but hard to embrace for oneself.  i want to embrace it!  i pretend i am empty nest, looking back on my present -- what would i really wish for this summer?  not efficiency but maximum enjoyment of my tiny family!  laundry will not figure in my regrets! 

i think this imaginary looking back from the future is a fruitful exercise for me in other ways too (thinking about my marriage and most especially my friendship with Christ):

“Our hope is built on our memories.  Without memories there are no expectations.  We do not always realize that among the best thing we can give each other are good memories: kind words, signs of affection, gestures of sympathy, peaceful silences and joyful celebrations.  At the time all may have seemed obvious, simple and without many consequences, but as memories they can save us in the midst of confusion, fear and darkness…These memories might be dormant during our day-to-day living, but in times of crisis they often reveal their real revitalizing power.” [henri nouwen via this blog]

i want to have a ton of "real revitalizing power" stored up against the day.  memories of leisure and literature, of honeymoon times with jared, of caring for freddy, and of Christ proving a faithful friend.