11.02.2011

homemaking

(apparently i am all about The Screwtape Letters)

(speaking about God, their Enemy)
He’s vulgar, Wormwood.  He has a bourgeois mind.  He has filled His world full of pleasures. 
There are things for humans to do all day long without His minding in the least—sleeping, washing, eating, drinking, making love, playing, praying, working.

i have operated for so long under the view that everything i do is bad. if i’m reading i should be working.  which may be true.  but now it has morphed into ‘if i’m working i should be with fred, and if i’m with fred i should be working’!  whatever i’m doing, i should be doing something else or at the very least be doing what i’m doing much MUCH better. i would love to waltz through my day doing things that God doesn’t mind in the least—trusting that He has made my days pleasurable and innocent.

i think this involves getting over myself a little (or a lot).  i have very little real existing suffering in my life, but i generate a ton of inner imaginary suffering.  Corrie Ten Boom says “He is always with us.  Today, while preparing a meal, while writing, while teaching, while doing office work.  There might not be any difficulties today.  Yes, that is quite possible, but your Guide is with you; the Lord is with you.”  there might not be any difficulties today?  that thought has never once crossed my mind in my entire life (even though I don’t really have very many difficulties)!  the activities she lists are my whole life, past (office work), present and future (teaching my children) and she says those things aren’t inherently difficult, plus i STILL get to have my Guide with me.  i want that carefree mindset please.

beware, i may be switching one pagan mindset for another, without any Christ to save me. 

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