2.21.2012

JJ+F => THIS IS THE DESK
















This is the desk I sit at
and this is the desk where I love you too much
and this is the typewriter that sits before me
where yesterday only your body sat before me
with its shoulders gathered in like a Greek chorus
with its tongue like a king making up rules as he goes
-Anne Sexton

this poem has touched my <3 since graduate school when i was studying and writing poetry and stalking my future husband.  it holds the task and the longing in perfect tension.  i would sit at my desk for hours daydreaming (about how to win jared's love, about whether we would ever date, ever make a baby that could wear the baby shark costume in my bedroom closet) when i had a 10-12pp. paper on Anne Sexton due the next day.

for me, now, the task and the longing have become bizarrely mingled and fused -- caring for my much longed for husband is now my task, caring for my much longed for child is now my task, the typewriter that sits before me is now what i long for in the midst of these present cares and tasks...  i used to put off reading+writing to long for a husband and child.  now in my longing for reading+writing i sometimes put off caring for my little family (not in a neglectful way! just a lazy way).  GOD has given me so many gifts in perfect tension and i don't want to make gods out of those gifts.  instead i want to be rich in tasks AND in longing.  i want this space to be about that.  this is the desk.  

{on a simpler level, this poem is also about how hot and infuriating jared is (i just tried to spell it "infuriurating").  his tongue like a king making up rules as he goes.}

i hope you enjoy my blog redesign.  if you follow me via email or google reader click through to enjoy the full majesty.  

2 comments:

Krista said...

Love the redesign...so glad I clicked through! And love that poem. And poetry more generally.

Jesse said...

yes!! thanks krista! i am always inspired when you share your love for poetry : )