don't judge.
if you don't already know who barbara cartland is, then your life is free of the worst written, most barf-tastically cheesy romance novels of all time built entirely upon archaic and pretty offensive gender stereotyping. sexist and sexy (actually, they are pretty clean. the sex is marital and euphemistic)!!
there are basically 3 plots. my favorite is the forced/blackmailed arranged marriage. i especially like a little bit of parental abuse b/c i am messed up like that (wow did i just post that?!).
the girls are all skinny (often malnourished) w/ small chests. they have eyes too big for their (often <3-shaped faces). they don't know what sex is and they are scared of men and marriage, but are they ever ready for love! the men, on the other hand, wear very tight-fitting clothes and have very sordid pasts, with numerous jaded love affairs. and that is natural and they never apologize, because they are men. but what they were always searching for, in their <3's, was the vague youthful idealism that they find in the girl who idolizes them. also buddhism, horses, estates, etc.
yay! i just love arranged marriages!
i don't even remember any more but i think in one week i read
Lord Ravenscar's Revenge
Passions in the Sand
From Hell to Heaven
The Ruthless Rake
The Prude and the Prodigal
The Penniless Peer
The Bored Bridegroom
The Dangerous Dandy
A Fugitive from Love
Moonlight over Eden
The Incredible Honeymoon
From Hate to Love
and that is not scratching the surface of this body of work. Dame Barbara was PROLIFIC. she wrote hundreds of these magical novels. she dictated them. i can just see her, be-furred, lounging in a pink canopied bed, petting pugs and intoning with a melodious voice as a little typist with cat-eye glasses types with her pointer fingers. she wrote >24 novels in one year. twice.
my abs. favorite part is the cover art.
{and what do i find but a blog devoted exclusively to Barbara Cartland covers!!}
these are the two i want to print and frame poster-sized in my bedroom. jared?
now i'm going to go to bed and read The Saint and the Sinner.
now i'm going to go to bed and read The Saint and the Sinner.
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